Real Moms Don't Wear Lipstick!

First and foremost, why did I call my book Real Moms Don't Where Lipstick? It speaks to the idea that when we become Moms we give up a lot. A lot of our former self. In some cases, we become a shell of our former self where things that were important before, just aren't. Like putting on lipstick! Who has time! I feel like so many Moms can relate to this, even gorgeous celebrity Moms. When you have a child your identity completely shifts, even if you maintain the same status at work, something in your core dramatically changes. For so many of us, the old self becomes last priority and for a lot of Moms that means giving up a lot - working out, clothes shopping, going out with friends, looking cute. But it doesn't have to! It's all about finding the balance. What I mean by that is not time management. I mean, finding out what works for YOU to be the happiest Mom YOU can be. And to start, we have to stop comparing ourselves to others, because what works for one woman, won't necessarily work for you.

We women love to do this endless comparison game. Whether it's about each other's outfits, boyfriends, husbands, careers, children. It's how we size ourselves up - by sizing each other up. Let's face it, don't you look other women up and down and make an almost immediate judgement about who they are, what they do, if you are better or worse than them? Immediately feelings like admiration, envy, adoration, curiousity pop up. As women we are infinitely curious about ourselves and our inner workings and we often try to discover more of ourselves through other women and how alike or disalike we are.

My Mom always boosted my ego and told me I was great. However, one day she said, "There will always be someone prettier than you." There was great freedom in that statement because I was able to take myself off the hook for constantly and never-endingly competing in the looks department. I applied it to other areas as well. "There will always be someone smarter, more successful, etc." The idea is that the only person you have to compete with is yourself - to be the best YOU you can be. you were born with certain assets and some of those are fixed. I have fair, freckled skin. I'm not going to have smooth olive skin no matter how hard I try. But I can play on my features to be the most attractive ME I can be. Freedom.

Same goes with Motherhood. You can be the best Mom YOU can be. Not the Mom your neighbor or best friend is. Stop trying to be someone else and embrace who you are.

I NEED A BREAK!

This morning I took a walk on the beach with my son. One of my biggest struggles as a Mom is figuring out how I’m going to keep myself and Hudson entertained all day. It’s the difference between going to a job you know is going to be slow and boring and going to a job that is fast paced and full of purpose. I feel as though I always need to add this disclaimer, I LOVE MY SON. But does that mean I have to love being a full time Mom? I am a high energy person that thrives off production, creativity and “doing”. I have worked hard in the first couple years of Hudson’s (my son’s) life to conquer that and just be ok “being”. I’ve done pretty well – I’ve survived two years and 4 months. But it’s getting to me lately. Maybe because I’m pregnant and have morning sickness and don’t have the same pep as I did before….maybe because Summer’s over and everyone is going back to school except for us… Plus, it doesn’t help that my nanny just quit. Although she only comes 2x/week, that was my reprieve. My time to myself. My time to not have to entertain someone else or be at someone’s beckon call. Does this sound awful? I LOVE MY SON. I just know myself and I know on the days when I get a break, time to myself or have something “going on”, I feel much more alive and energetic. And then there’s the whole homemaker thing. I am not cut out to be a homemaker. Don’t get me wrong, I love to entertain decorate, arrange flowers and organize (to name a few), but I don’t like being a slave to it day in and day out and not having a choice about it. I’m smart, creative, high energy…I’m capable of so much. I hate that when I’m with my son I’m often not 100% present. I’m often thinking about how this isn’t for me. I want to be with my son, but I want moderation, balance and other stimulation. So, I’ve said that enough now. So, what am I doing about it???

CDD - CONSTANT DISTRACTION DISORDER

Hudson and I were on the go from the 2^nd week of his little life. Now, by on the go, it’s not like I was dressing him up and sending him off to prep school. No! I would bundle him up safely and comfortably and put him in his car seat and put him in the comfort of our beautiful escalade and go for a car ride…sometimes a very long car ride. Looking back, I don’t think it was so much that Hudson was a newborn and didn’t like being in the car. I think it was that Hudson was a newborn and lived for eating and sleeping, both of which were disrupted by long periods of time in the car…which is why I often pulled over into random parking lots and neighborhoods to nurse him! The things you do!

It wasn’t until Hudson was 4 months old that I realized that flying by the seat of my pants wasn’t really working for either of us anymore. That’s when I got religion, and by religion I mean I put Hudson on a sleep and eat schedule and it changed our lives. ALL NEW MOMS LISTEN UP. If you don’t read any other blog of mine, read the one on sleep training. Bbecause if you’re like me or any other new Mom, you have serious sleep deprivation, ADD and CDD (constant-distraction-disorder…that one I made up!)