Real Moms Don't Wear Lipstick!

First and foremost, why did I call my book Real Moms Don't Where Lipstick? It speaks to the idea that when we become Moms we give up a lot. A lot of our former self. In some cases, we become a shell of our former self where things that were important before, just aren't. Like putting on lipstick! Who has time! I feel like so many Moms can relate to this, even gorgeous celebrity Moms. When you have a child your identity completely shifts, even if you maintain the same status at work, something in your core dramatically changes. For so many of us, the old self becomes last priority and for a lot of Moms that means giving up a lot - working out, clothes shopping, going out with friends, looking cute. But it doesn't have to! It's all about finding the balance. What I mean by that is not time management. I mean, finding out what works for YOU to be the happiest Mom YOU can be. And to start, we have to stop comparing ourselves to others, because what works for one woman, won't necessarily work for you.

We women love to do this endless comparison game. Whether it's about each other's outfits, boyfriends, husbands, careers, children. It's how we size ourselves up - by sizing each other up. Let's face it, don't you look other women up and down and make an almost immediate judgement about who they are, what they do, if you are better or worse than them? Immediately feelings like admiration, envy, adoration, curiousity pop up. As women we are infinitely curious about ourselves and our inner workings and we often try to discover more of ourselves through other women and how alike or disalike we are.

My Mom always boosted my ego and told me I was great. However, one day she said, "There will always be someone prettier than you." There was great freedom in that statement because I was able to take myself off the hook for constantly and never-endingly competing in the looks department. I applied it to other areas as well. "There will always be someone smarter, more successful, etc." The idea is that the only person you have to compete with is yourself - to be the best YOU you can be. you were born with certain assets and some of those are fixed. I have fair, freckled skin. I'm not going to have smooth olive skin no matter how hard I try. But I can play on my features to be the most attractive ME I can be. Freedom.

Same goes with Motherhood. You can be the best Mom YOU can be. Not the Mom your neighbor or best friend is. Stop trying to be someone else and embrace who you are.

WHINES, SCREAMS, CRIES....OH MY!!!!!

Not to sound melodramatic, but my son broke me tonight. He broke my spirit, and I snapped. I was out all day doing last minute Xmas errands and came home to a happy child and a clean house. Ahhh, nirvana. We had to take the nanny to the bus, which always drives me nuts, especially after driving around all day. The last thing I want to do is have to put my son in the car seat and drive to the bus in rush hour traffic. But, hey, I should be thankful I have a car and can drive right? Afterall, she’s taking the bus. It’s a feat getting my son to do ANYthing these days. Eat. Get dressed. Change a diaper. Leave the house. Get into the car. If we go to a playdate and there’s a movie, he throws a tantrum if we have to leave. He whines and screams and cries to get what he wants – movie, airplane park, climb a tree, not wanting to get out of the car seat, and god forbid I undue his carseat. God forbid I move his stool for him so he can climb on his diaper changing table. God forbid I move the diaper caddy out of the way. He has to put everything back so HE CAN DO IT. ME DO IT!!!!!!!! I thought he would want to see Santa, but even that was not enough to motivate him to change his diaper and clothes without a fuss, which turned into a full blown tantrum because we did not have jellybeans at his disposal (an earlier tactic I tried out as a means of getting him to change his diapers that is now dominating my life). Needless to day, I could use a cocktail right now….scratch that, let’s go straight to shots.

MY SON'S 2 YEAR BIRTHDAY - MURPHY'S LAW IN ACTION!

Have you ever heard of Murphy's Law? Sometimes I feel like that would be a great tagline for my life. Yesterday I threw a 2 year birthday for my son. I know, he won't remember it (or maybe he will), but it wasn't so much for HIM as it was to mark the passage of another year of his life, and to celebrate that with friends and family. Not that I need to justify myself! When I woke up yesterday morning it was overcast. I had hopes it would clear up, but it never did. Who knew you could have a great beach party whether the sun is shining or not. The reality is, kids can have fun wherever they are and whatever they're doing - the weather doesn't matter! The party went on for hours and as soon as all the kids cleared out, guess what? The sun came out! And sure enough, when I woke up this morning, it was a sunny, clear day. So, what did we do? We took our son to the beach and believe it or not, I had more fun in the couple hours I was at the beach with my son and just a few family members than I did the day before with 80 of our closest friends. You think I'd learn!