Real Moms Don't Wear Lipstick!

First and foremost, why did I call my book Real Moms Don't Where Lipstick? It speaks to the idea that when we become Moms we give up a lot. A lot of our former self. In some cases, we become a shell of our former self where things that were important before, just aren't. Like putting on lipstick! Who has time! I feel like so many Moms can relate to this, even gorgeous celebrity Moms. When you have a child your identity completely shifts, even if you maintain the same status at work, something in your core dramatically changes. For so many of us, the old self becomes last priority and for a lot of Moms that means giving up a lot - working out, clothes shopping, going out with friends, looking cute. But it doesn't have to! It's all about finding the balance. What I mean by that is not time management. I mean, finding out what works for YOU to be the happiest Mom YOU can be. And to start, we have to stop comparing ourselves to others, because what works for one woman, won't necessarily work for you.

We women love to do this endless comparison game. Whether it's about each other's outfits, boyfriends, husbands, careers, children. It's how we size ourselves up - by sizing each other up. Let's face it, don't you look other women up and down and make an almost immediate judgement about who they are, what they do, if you are better or worse than them? Immediately feelings like admiration, envy, adoration, curiousity pop up. As women we are infinitely curious about ourselves and our inner workings and we often try to discover more of ourselves through other women and how alike or disalike we are.

My Mom always boosted my ego and told me I was great. However, one day she said, "There will always be someone prettier than you." There was great freedom in that statement because I was able to take myself off the hook for constantly and never-endingly competing in the looks department. I applied it to other areas as well. "There will always be someone smarter, more successful, etc." The idea is that the only person you have to compete with is yourself - to be the best YOU you can be. you were born with certain assets and some of those are fixed. I have fair, freckled skin. I'm not going to have smooth olive skin no matter how hard I try. But I can play on my features to be the most attractive ME I can be. Freedom.

Same goes with Motherhood. You can be the best Mom YOU can be. Not the Mom your neighbor or best friend is. Stop trying to be someone else and embrace who you are.

TERRIBLE TWO'S ANYONE?!

I’d be lying if I said I’d like my son to stay 2.5 forever. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I get he’s going to grow up and leave me and I’m going to cry over these “golden” years – forgetting all the screaming, crying, temper tantrums, power struggles….just wanting to scream “Shut the F--- UP!” to him in the back seat of the car –-but for now, I am looking forward to that next stage of more self control, more listening, greater COMPLIANCE. We took my son to a dog wash tonight, thinking it’d be a fun family thing to do. My son is so into helping with EVERYTHING – everything we don’t WANT him helping with – cooking eggs over a hot stove, sweeping our already swept pile of dirt (or shall I say UNsweeping it), etc. So I thought for sure he’d love the dog wash. It didn’t take long for the power washer to overtake him when he decided he was bored and needed other stimulation – outside of the confines of the doggy wash bin. His first stop – the miniature dog coral. Of course he wanted to go in there and be with those little yappers and was insisting I lift him up to see over the fence (hard to do when you’re trying to blowdry your dog’s butthole at the same time) Thank god for the sweet dog wash girl with the stepping stool. Then there were the coffee table books. Were those for sale??!!!! Cuz no one’s gonna buy them now! And then there were the dog collars. Not the cool, chunky ones you’d put on a REAL dog….but the little pom pom things (are you kidding ME?!) that go on Pommeranians (sorry, you’re cute, but those COLLARS?!) Soon enough my son’s opinion of them was clear by how they were scattered all over the dog wash floor. So, needless to say, it made me think about-scratch that-fantasize about-the day when Hudson is just a little more tame. Will there ever be such a day?